Personal Post: Committing to showing up for myself.

This post is going to get a little personal and honestly it feels really uncomfortable writing it knowing that I am going to post about my own vulnerabilities. I am have been part of a daily core clarity challenge this week, if you want to join this, it’s running every week, the sign up link is here. So, what do I mean by “committing to show up for myself” and why am I writing about it? On day 5 of this core clarity challenge, we were asked to comment on one thing that we will commit to. Honestly, the one thing that came to mind was: I NEED to commit to showing up for myself! And I knew that because I had almost instant resistance to it, that it was exact the right commitment that I needed to make. And also, making it public is adding extra ‘pressure’ to it. There were thoughts of what if I fail? What if I can’t show up for myself? How can I even show up for myself? What about the days I don’t feel like showing up? Now, because of the personal work I have done and continue to do and because I spend time every day in silence, I have come to know this voice as the one who doesn’t want to rock the boat….the voice that wants everything to stay the same so that I can stay ‘feeling comfortable’. But as many of you may know and feel…..that comfortableness can become very uncomfortable! When there are fears of making necessary changes to create a future that is exciting, abundant, of service to others; it can feel so overwhelming that is feels like it’s impossible to keep your head above water. It feels that it would be easier to just stop and let the waves take you back to ‘normality’. Running my own acupuncture business has brought up so much fear and doubt….(fears and doubts that I didn’t even know I had), that often times showing up is just really difficult. By showing up, I mean the work that needs to be done in the background. The work that no-one sees, the work that is silent. When I am in clinic with someone who has come to me for help, and who is paying for that service…..I AM THERE 100%! This is the work I was put on this planet to do. By committing to showing up for myself, this is what I mean!

1. Spending time every in silence EVERY day and being completely present in that time so that I can know myself a little better than the day before. Often in this time, emotions, doubts or fears arise that need my attention, and by giving them that space another layer is released so that a deeper connection to self is created.
2. DOING the work that no-one sees! This is where things can get difficult. We all know the work we should be doing, no matter where or what you work as. It is the work that doesn’t get appreciation from others, we don’t see instant results from it, we may never ‘see’ the results from it. It is the work that is often monotonous, in fact you’d rather just stare at a blank wall that do this work. (Just to point out here, when I’m saying we….I do mean me!). And most importantly here, is to get clear on what exactly is the most productive work to do. We often can seem incredibly busy ‘doing work’ but have not actually progressed in any way. For me this means, deepening my knowledge of the medicine I offer, creating more ways for the people who want to work with me to actually find me, continuing to make sure I am clear on where I am heading so that what I am doing is indeed beneficial to making that happen.  For you, it may be that you commit drinking more water to make sure your body is fully hydrated, it may be that you read 10 pages of that business marketing book, it may be that you visit your elderly neighbour every Saturday morning for 30 minutes.
3. Stop beating the sh*t out of myself! This is a big one. And is probably going to be the hardest. Committing to showing up for myself is actually part of number 2. No-one is going to see this, no-one is going to give me a medal and congratulate me. No-one is going to have a clue whether I do this or not. And when I believe I have failed at this…..it is my duty to myself to put myself back on track. Thinking harsh thoughts and telling myself I suck because I have ‘failed’ is exactly what creates the resistance in me. It ‘freezes’ me, it ‘keeps me small’ and this why I MUST commit to not doing this.

My life’s purpose is to be of service to others and help them re-discover the power and joy that lies within them. And the more I do this, the more I realise that my soul’s purpose is to re-discover the power and joy that lies with ME! The more I can live from this place of power and joy, the more I can be of service to you. So, I am here to listen to your story, to be part of your healing journey. We are all on this path of life together, when it difficult and when it is fun. We never need to do this on own.